Body language and communication experts Allan and Barbara Pease say success comes from your mindset and how you present yourself to others.
The duo are certainly a power couple – they’re world-renowned, best-selling authors, speakers, business owners, investors and mentors who work with businesses and governments worldwide.
Many of their best-selling books, including their latest The Answer, unpack how people can achieve their ideal lifestyle and their own version of sustainable success through the right mindset and body language.
In their insightful discussion with KnowHow founder Bushy Martin on the Get Invested podcast, there’s one message that rings true through all of their advice – to have confidence in yourself, and not let the doubts of others stop you from fulfilling your ventures.
“I think the power of us is that we just believe in ourselves. We don’t ever doubt ourselves and what we’re going to do. If we want to do something, we put it out there and we just go for it. And if we fail, that’s great, because we’ve just learnt a really big lesson. So we just take life and live it,” Barbara said.
“I actually love challenges, because we’ve had challenges all our lives. And when people put a brick wall up, our attitude is, will we dig under, will we jump high and go to the top or will we go round the side? And that’s every single challenge in our life.”
The big change in mindset Allan advises listeners to adopt is to stop thinking about how you’ll do something, but rather what you’re going to do. This also includes focusing on reasons to do something and work towards your goals, rather than finding excuses to back out.
“If you start with how it’s never going to happen, you’ve got to start with what that is. Here’s what I will do … and once you decide the what, then you will see the how”,” he said.
“People will say to you, ‘but how would you do this? How would I get the money? How do I get the opportunity? How could I get my own business?’ They stop at the point of view of how to do it, how to get the resources, money, background. And the whole guts of the answer is very simple. You do not think about the how. You forget about the how. Think about the what. What is it I want to do, have or become?
“You can decide what you don’t want or you can decide what you do want. And most people decide what they don’t want. And it’s part of human behaviour that we decide what we don’t want and what we want, where we might go for survival. We won’t go into that cave because it could be a big bear and that will kill us. So we don’t go in there. And the downside is we miss out on what might have been in there. That could have been opportunities. And we never developed a strategy for dealing with that if it did turn up, we just never did it.
“So, it’s a mindshift to think about what you do want and deciding that’s what you do want. That’s what you will have to be or become. And you put it in writing because you’re two and a half times more likely to succeed if you put it in handwriting than if you put it usually on a computer or smartphone. So you make a decision and that’s what you’ll do. Full stop. End of story. No more discussion about it.”
To help refocus yourself, Allan said you need to surround yourself with like-minded people who support and encourage your dreams.
“How is none of [their] business. What you’ve got to decide is what you will do. And and people who try to talk you out of it, and certainly families are the biggest offenders here because, they’re scared you might lose your money, lose your job, lose your super, lose your car, lose your prestige. Doesn’t matter. You decide what you’re going to do, and if people keep trying to talk you out of it, don’t tell them anymore,” Allan said.
“Only talk to people who are currently doing what you want to do or have successfully done it because they’ll give you ideas and they’ll encourage it …Tell the five who are doing what you want and you become the average of that group … if you hang around with five millionaires, you’ll be the sixth.”
But this positivity doesn’t just apply to your mental outlook with pursuing business or personal ventures. It also applies to your body language and how you physically present yourself to others.
“People need to realise how they look and what they’re doing … if you’re always negative and you’re not reading signals from other people, then you’re going to miss opportunities, and you start trying to negotiate things being negative. So you’ve got to learn how to come across so that people buy you. All negative body language has to disappear when you want to achieve something in your life,” Barbara said.
Allan added: “What ever you want to do, it’s going to have to do with people. No doubt about it. And we know that people buy you. So if you can identify how people are feeling, what body language, and you know how to present yourself, especially in that first four minutes where new people form 90% of their impression, you can get people on your side, get them to like you and they will push for you to get what you want. And this is the secret. If you’re good with people, everything else is going to be good because nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
Listen to the full interview here.
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