Unlocking high performance in any field, including property investing, comes from finding the root of your familiar, bad habits and making a change.
These habits and struggles, whether it be fear, anxiety, depression, addiction, self-sabotage or other emotional issues, often come from traumas and can often hold investors back from stepping in to the life they really want.
However, Mark Reid believes transformational change and healing from trauma can come from acceptance, followed by different steps to reset your mind and body.
The founder of Trysted Soul Healing talked about these strategies on Property Hub’s Get Invested podcast hosted by KnowHow’s Bushy Martin.
How to accept you need to change
Mark said the first step is to accept that something needs to change, which will ultimately shift your perception of your traumas.
“If you don’t, you’re just going to live in denial … And once you’ve accepted that, you will have an ‘Aha!’ moment of, no matter what has happened to me, all that has ever been there for me is love – it’s just in a form that I don’t recognise,” he said.
“Now, if I go back and look into the trauma just as a singular event, yes, that was horrible, but if you live your life through that narrow lens you can never accept the brilliance that’s trying to make its way to you.
“So when we do our trauma work and we combine all of that, the wall around the heart opens and your eyes open. It’s like looking through the world as a newborn for the first time. Nothing is missing. And usually in that moment, you realise that the worst thing that happened to me is also the simultaneously best thing happened to me. And I want to dedicate the rest of my life to make sure that other people either don’t feel like that, or if they do, I’m the person that can help them.
“But as long as you suppress that, you will never fulfil your destiny. So only when you have done that work and you then know who you are and why you’re here, your hierarchy of values will become crystal clear. That’s the action you take in alignment with that.”
How familiarity and safety will hold you back
Mark said people will often get stuck and struggle to make a lasting change due to fear of stepping away from a comfort zone into the unknown.
“Most of us get stuck in our heads, and the body keeps the score. The body remembers what the mind forgets. And for a lot of us, we’re already aware on some level that something is going to be confronting. And we may not be ready to confront it yet, so we just stay here as a means to try and be safe,” he said.
“The ego runs wild. Now the ego’s not a bad thing, it’s just a thing – its a protective mechanism. So we look for associations in the brain to give points of familiarity, and what happens is we confuse what feels familiar to safety. Now just because you’ve experienced that many times doesn’t mean it’s safe. But on some level, because we keep subconsciously thinking about it and then we behave in accordance with that thought, then we have an experience and then we feel a certain way and it compounds the brain. So the underpinning of everything is safety. So we go here in a desperate attempt to feel safe. But the idea is it just spirals more and more out of control.”
How to reset your soul
While investors are quick to focus on the data and the numbers, which is absolutely vital, Mark warned about the risk of living a ‘shallow existence’ and the need to delve into the depths of their soul to break bad habits and emotions.
“I call it the trauma onion. Only when we’ve peeled off layers of the jacket and have the body feel in a safe place again, then we can process certain emotions, whether it’s guilt, shame, unworthiness, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, whatever it may be,” he said.
“Now a lot of people do traditional timeline therapy and it kind of drudges up every single thing in the past, but the brain doesn’t compute time the way we do. It’s a man-made structure for us to understand elements, so every time you go back to past event, you create the same trauma responses. And we don’t need to do that.
“So once we regulate the nervous system, we look at what emotions have come up most often for you, and how do we feel. And with all things connected, that emotion is going to play out in different ways. So if you neutralise the emotion, all the events that attach to that also neutralise.”
How to break down negative thoughts through breathing
Mark revealed the breathing techniques and mechanisms which help to break down traumas and negative thoughts.
“This teaches you to start being balanced. So we wrap the body up, and then we come back down nice and safe. This goes for 15 minutes, because if we can keep the conscious, connected, regulating breath go, it actually stops that voice that says you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not successful enough. Whatever it may be, that actually starts to shut down and we start to get into that automated part of breath, because the breath is the bridge between the body and the mind. So that voice dials down and we can access that limbic system straight away. So now we’re on the centre of our thoughts, feelings and emotions,” he said.
Listen to the full interview here.
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